This week we're talking about a book A we
Brad:book.
Monnica:Called Unreasonable Hospitality. And we didn't just read Unreasonable Hospitality, we lived it.
Brad:This is kind of a special edition. Yeah. One we will probably talk about a book here and there, but this is a kind of a story about the book, about a client and a four hour dinner that changed how we think about leadership and relationships. Welcome to
Monnica:The manual transmission. The manual transmission. Did you forget our name?
Brad:Welcome back to the manual transmission powered by coffee, curiosity, and conversation.
Monnica:Where coffee brews, vinyl spins, and conversation begins.
Brad:It started as a gift from a client.
Monnica:That's right. They were on the edge of a massive systems overhaul. Every platform they use to run their business and interface with the world, lots of pressure. And they knew they'd need something deeper to hold their culture together. Together.
Brad:We read the book and we did some unreasonable research.
Monnica:You could say that. I felt like it was it was perfectly reasonable. I I justified it quite well in my head.
Brad:I agree. Cool. Do we wanna do high low?
Monnica:Let's do high low. Okay. You first.
Brad:Okay. So my high was yesterday, it was pretty awesome. We we got to spend the day with the grandbabies starting with
Monnica:We're still in the habit of calling them babies, but they're they're not babies anymore. I still think
Brad:of seven and eight. They're awesome.
Monnica:They're babies.
Brad:They are. But started with them being together at the house, and we were were spending a lot of time. Well, we were trying to do some yard work
Monnica:and There some was a lot of leaves to rake.
Brad:There were a lot of leaves to rake, but we were also doing some watering.
Monnica:You were turning over the hot tub.
Brad:Yeah, and they're great in terms of they're just not quite at that level where they can actually help.
Monnica:Yeah. I think they had a lot of fun Oh, in the pile of
Brad:my gosh.
Monnica:Wait. So we I don't know that it sped the process.
Brad:No. We currently have a dumpster in our driveway because we're doing
Monnica:And some
Brad:the dumpster was empty except for a tree full of leaves. And so they wanted to play in the dumpster and in the pile of leaves. And they had a blast. But that's kind of the way the day started. And then we got to take them out to a pumpkin patch
Monnica:and a
Brad:corn maze. And I think the high of the day really was there was a moment with this pumpkin patch where they had this bean pit. And I don't know, this thing was maybe 20 by 20. Yeah. It's a box that they built up.
Monnica:Who thought of this? It's crazy.
Brad:It was probably about two feet, maybe a foot. I don't know, a foot and a half worth of beans. What kind of beans were they? I don't know. They were strange, but they were these beans and there were probably 30 kids in this box.
Monnica:They, you think that they all knew each other. They just were unencumbered by each other's presence. They were having a blast. It was a pit full of beans and kids.
Brad:It was the most brilliant thing that I think anybody could have come up with,
Monnica:What the bean a great way to entertain a bunch of kids for free on a Saturday.
Brad:Yeah. And my low came as well, same day, same kind of experience. It was later in the evening, one of the grandkids had a little accident. It happens, completely change the mood.
Monnica:You handled it like a champ, I thought.
Brad:That was a lesson in unreasonable hospitality all its own.
Monnica:Yeah, yeah. Kids have a way of reminding us that patience is its own form of generosity sometimes, but definitely hanging out with those two was the highlight of my week. I also had a great trip to San Antonio and Oklahoma and headed out to Orlando next. So but it was a really great trip because I was able to take a friend with me that I actually just hired, and it gave us some high quality time together to connect, but also to work through some some problems we're trying to solve. And so we got to spend that time together and she's fantastic.
Monnica:And I'd say my low was probably just not getting a lot of sleep. So I've been traveling every week for a few weeks now. Yeah, I'm working to dial in the logistics to support a healthy lifestyle while on the road, but it's been good.
Brad:Little disruptions. Yeah. Opportunities Working through to practice some self care.
Monnica:Yeah. You gotta get creative when you're on the road, you know, work it out.
Brad:Well, again, we've mentioned it before, but weekends are aid stations. Yeah. And we're still figuring out how to make those better eight stations.
Monnica:Yes. I'm also figuring out how to book travel a little different little better. Gotta think ahead, but we're working on it.
Brad:Yep. It's getting good. So before we talk about the book, we
Monnica:Oh, yeah. Let's talk about the book.
Brad:We'll talk about the book after we talk about our vinyl. We spun a vinyl.
Monnica:I just missed my part there. That's alright. Okay. We're gonna talk about the vinyl first. That's is
Brad:just a framework to keep us hopefully keep us I
Monnica:was trying to stay on board with the notes you gave me.
Brad:That's alright. So the vinyl, this is this is an important one, at least to me. I mean, I'm I'm a big Eagles fan, but
Monnica:this Eagles are great.
Brad:This album, which is crazy, came out about thirty years ago. 1994. April '94. And it was when MTV Unplugged. In fact, did you just hear MTV is now going is done.
Brad:What? They just announced it's MTV is over.
Monnica:Oh my gosh.
Brad:Big monumental thing. So lots of folks from our era are like, Oh, that's
Monnica:I would never known a world without MTV. So
Brad:in MTV had MTV unplugged.
Monnica:Okay. Sorry. Can I pause you for one second?
Brad:Yes.
Monnica:Okay. Bookmark. You're going to come back to MTV Unplugged. You remember your train of thought? Sure.
Monnica:Okay, sorry for the folks at home, I have my iPad for my notes, but I also get my text messages here. I didn't tell you, but our son lives in New York. I just, I was kind of a brat to him earlier asking him to do something and I felt a little bit bad. The great thing about not living in Utah is you can door dash alcohol and I just door dashed him a bottle of alcohol I know he likes and one for Sid because she's doing her midterms at Columbia.
Brad:I don't think that's gonna help her with her midterms.
Monnica:Sure it will. Sunday. Anyway, so I just got a text from him. It just arrived.
Brad:What did he say? He just said
Monnica:He just said you're a punk, but thank you. Anyway, that was it distracted me. Please.
Brad:Okay.
Monnica:You were talking about MTV 1994.
Brad:So in 1980, the the Eagles disbanded, fell apart, and Glenn Fry, I think it was Glenn Fry said he was asked, will you ever get back together again?
Monnica:Yeah.
Brad:And he said, when hell freezes over. They were they were there was lawsuits, grudges.
Monnica:They needed some repair in their relationships. Yes,
Brad:some bad stuff going on. But in 1994, they were approached by MTV for their Unplugged and said, wouldn't it be great if you guys could come back together and present this concert? Well, one conversation led to the the next, and they were able to put it together. And in April '94, they recorded this album, live MTV Unplugged, phenomenal album. I love it with some some new songs, but mostly their old stuff.
Brad:And one month later, May 1994, I was actually at Shoreline Amphitheater just south of San Francisco, and I was there to see Hell Freeze Over for real.
Monnica:The amount of times I've heard you talk about that show, I just wish I could have been there at
Brad:the Eastside. It was an amazing concert.
Monnica:Epic.
Brad:Amazing concert. And now the iconic version of Hotel California that is, that now most people know, that's when they came out with that. So if you go back to the original album, it's different, but now you hear the kind of this big lead in and it's just an amazing version. Like that
Monnica:Spanish music?
Brad:Spanish guitar.
Monnica:It's just
Brad:it's it's it's an amazing version.
Monnica:I love that song. And you did ultimately end up taking me to see the Eagles in concert.
Brad:2022. Yeah. We got to see the Eagles. But this album, I mean, I don't think it won any Grammys, but
Monnica:Should have.
Brad:Millions of albums sold. This is the one that we listened to. And, holds a special place in my heart.
Monnica:I love that album. It's good. And there's also a song on that album I was less familiar with, but in listening to the album cover to cover, it's the get over it song.
Brad:It's an almost an ode to the blame culture.
Monnica:Yeah. Yeah. And they said, get over it. Anyway.
Brad:And it's what they ended up having to do in order to come back together and Get over And they back incredible album.
Monnica:Sure did. Okay. Thank you for sharing. I love that story.
Brad:You're welcome.
Monnica:Alright. Let's talk about this book. So Will Gadara, was the co owner of Eleven Madison Park, and him and his partner, not to spoil the book for you, but they took an already really great restaurant and they made it the best in the world. It was voted the best in the world. And not just by perfecting the food though, but what set them apart was they reimagined the feeling and the experience that hospitality could create for people.
Brad:Yeah. He says in the book that service is black and white. Hospitality is color.
Monnica:Yeah. And him and his team really did color outside the lines. Like, they one of the stories from the book is there was this group of tourists who were eating dinner and, one of the servers overheard them talking about how they were leaving New York the next day and their one miss from the trip is they didn't end up getting a New York hot dog. And so they sent somebody out to go to the the hot dog cart on the corner and buy some hot dogs and ran them into the kitchen, the the chef plated them, and they served them, amid the courses of this incredible three Michelin Star meal. Or I guess at that time it wasn't three Michelin Stars yet, they were working on it.
Monnica:Just little touches like that. It was that just really heard where people were and then met them and gave them an incredible they've they heard what their real need were needs were underneath the surface and sought to meet those.
Brad:Yeah. And it wasn't about the hot dogs. It was about belonging and and letting those people feel like they belonged in New York and they got the full experience. And the decision to do that in the middle of service, it's really about leadership.
Monnica:Yeah, exactly. So when our client handed us the book, they said, we wanna make this real here. We read it, and, we called them back and said, let we think we can help you do that. So what we did is, to help them kick off their company wide initiative, we had designed a ninety minute kind of an experience on the book's core ideas and a little unreasonable research of our own to help give us some background knowledge on there.
Brad:Exactly. We flew to New York and went to 11 Madison Park.
Monnica:That's right. We were celebrating our twenty eighth wedding anniversary. So there was another reason to do it, but we went a little overboard. But four hours, 12 courses, was it really 12 courses?
Brad:I think We have
Monnica:to do It felt like 12 courses. It was
Brad:menu somewhere.
Monnica:It was a lot of I don't think it was 12 courses, but it was I don't know. It was a lot, but it was every detail just just spoke to us that you matter. It was like in a master class in intentionality.
Brad:And what to say that at when we were there, it's since changed. So it's gone through a couple of different cycles. When we were there, it was completely plant based.
Monnica:Right. At that time. It's it's since gone back to meat, but. Everything was plant based when
Brad:we were. But even when they switched over, prior to them switching over to plant based, they were a three star Michelin restaurant.
Monnica:Multiple They won years in a
Brad:all these awards. And then they made the decision to switch, which is pretty risky to be able to go and make that switch. And then they received the stars again, the awards.
Monnica:With an all plant based menu, which is a feat.
Brad:Right. And then they've since switched back.
Monnica:They are not resting on their laurels. And and it lives up to that hype, I I will say.
Brad:You think so?
Monnica:I I thought so. I don't have any experience around food that I could even compare to it.
Brad:Is there anything that stood out to you from that meal specifically?
Monnica:It was from top to bottom flawless.
Brad:Like The service.
Monnica:Every detail. The service, flavor.
Brad:Was beautiful and it was very good.
Monnica:Even I checked just because he calls it out in the book and I wanted to see if they're still doing it, but like you would never think I I wouldn't think to look under and see if the the custom made plates with their little mark on the bottom is perfectly aligned straight on the table. I checked. It was. But, yeah, I mean, it was flawless without making us feel like we weren't fancy enough to be there. It was comfortable yet flawless.
Monnica:So I don't know how you strike that balance, but it was they did it, I thought.
Brad:And when you got up, like, if you had to you went to the restroom.
Monnica:I'd noticed other people who they'd get up and just set their napkin down, they'd come over and fold it. I was like, oh, I don't like that. I'm I'm gonna fold my own napkin. And then you got up and I folded your napkin before they could come do it. Because I was like, no no no,
Brad:you don't need to fold my napkin for me. That's what they that's what they do.
Monnica:Yeah, guess.
Brad:But it's like every little detail. Yeah. I think that's what when it when we were watching it, but it hit us. And we had read the book by them as well. But just realizing the that's leadership that I mean, the the lengths that he went to and probably, I think to some extent really the challenges that he was up against in saying this is what I want to do.
Brad:Along the way people are going why?
Monnica:Yeah, why go back But
Brad:he saw something, he had a vision.
Monnica:And also isn't it good enough?
Brad:Right.
Monnica:Yeah, it reminds me of, I mean we felt moments like this in other places. For example, so our son got married earlier this year to his incredibly wonderful and beautiful and we're very lucky.
Brad:That are now enjoying drinks on us Sydney. In New
Monnica:Anyway, they flying they got married in Scotland. And so on the flight over, the Delta crew got wind of it being there, that they were on their way to get married. And, you know, they were sitting in I think they were sitting in Comfort Plus, so drinks are included. So it's not like they spent any more the Delta crew spent any more money on them than they would have. They would have served them champagne all flight if they wanted it.
Monnica:But, they just took that extra moment of intentionality to write a little note and take the bottle of champagne over and and say, hey. Congrats on your upcoming wedding, and we hope it goes well or whatever they but it just, like it didn't cost them anything except for some some it didn't cost them anything except for some thought and some intentionality and making them really feel seen.
Brad:And they're gonna be loyal Delta.
Monnica:I mean we already are but Our kids now will be Delta customers. Well they'll remember that for
Brad:the rest of their life.
Monnica:Of course.
Brad:Right and it is really the little things I remember as we've talked about this you were working with the team up in Park City Mhmm. And I came to visit. And while you were still doing wrapping up your work, I went to the restaurant and I sat down. I was seated, by the front of house and I as I was waiting, in retrospect, I recognized that my waiter had walked by me back to the front of the house and then came to me and greeted me, hello, mister Manuel.
Monnica:He went and got your name.
Brad:Yeah. And it cost him a few extra seconds, but it was back to that belonging. Yeah. He made me feel like I belong there. And just by saying my name, something that you you just you don't experience if you go to any other restaurant, most other restaurants.
Brad:Yeah. Just that little little touch.
Monnica:I'll I'll say this. I'm more the like, I grew up it was a treat. Like a rare treat to go to like Taco Bell. So I grew up pretty poor. So we're talking about some kind of bougie experiences here, but, even, like if you're just gonna go get a drive through chicken sandwich, it's gonna be different if you go to Chick fil A.
Monnica:I'm not necessarily a big fan of Chick fil A. They'll you they'll always everyone knows if you say thank you, what are they gonna say in in response?
Brad:I don't know.
Monnica:Guess you do.
Brad:No. I don't.
Monnica:They always say my pleasure. Oh. Did you not notice that?
Brad:I didn't know that. I doubt it.
Monnica:Now you're now you won't be able to unsee it. If you say thank you at a Chick fil A, 100% of the time whoever serving you will say it's my pleasure. So I guess what I'm getting at is even if it's not like an expensive restaurant, the cultures that have even though you didn't remember what they say, can you reflect on your experience? The service there is different.
Brad:Oh, yeah.
Monnica:Right? So
Brad:They're very attentive, plus they've got like 20 people working the drive through and I mean it's like every other steps along the way that you take your order, you drive up a little bit, somebody else hands you a receipt, you go up a little bit further then that's the person who walks out of the the drive through and they hand you your meal.
Monnica:And they know your name.
Brad:Right.
Monnica:But they do that. Also, a friend and I were talking about when we were kids, do you remember, I think it was still there when you moved here, it doesn't exist anymore, but the Crossroads Mall downtown, or the West Valley Mall that's still there. But, we couldn't afford Chick fil A. So they would they would give out samples though. And, if you walk past, they'll give you samples.
Brad:My first my first memory of Chick fil was at White Oaks Mall in Springfield, Illinois when I was probably seven or eight years old. And exactly the same thing. We didn't have money for that food. But they were always standing out out front with the samples with the toothpicks.
Monnica:Yeah.
Brad:And that taste is very distinctive. And I have that memory branded in my brain.
Monnica:Because it's mixed with that feeling of, oh, wish I could have a photo. Did they ever cut you off?
Brad:No. But I don't think I was ever, like, brave enough to keep going back. I was there long enough to Yeah. I was like, do you walk by and
Monnica:Yeah.
Brad:You get one and go.
Monnica:Yeah. So just bringing it back to the point though, like these moments of are are really like the heartbeat of unreasonable hospitality. They just remind us that generosity isn't about scale or price necessarily. It's about seeing people. And so I think the smart businesses, they are looking at how they can operationalize unreasonable hospitality in their culture.
Brad:Yeah, when people are cared for, they care more and that's the loop. I was working with a guy that I'm coaching, and talking to him about this book, and actually these couple of instances and just the conversation was enough for him. I could hear the excitement, because he's working on customer care, and they work in health care industry. But he's responsible for this group of folks. And it's the littlest thing.
Brad:And so he's like, yeah, we have cards, like branded cards of our company. It'd be easy enough for them to have a conversation with somebody. And just to after the conversation to write them a little note to them and then send it to them. So it costs very little, but it's that extra touch.
Monnica:Yeah, unreasonable hospitality isn't necessarily about extravagance. It's about awareness and seeing what others really need and meeting it generously. And it creates that, like you were talking about, they care more. It creates that virtuous cycle that gives you more and more because you just saw somebody and met their need.
Brad:Yeah, the trust doesn't come from your policies. It comes from those moments, those brief moments, those brief interactions.
Monnica:Yeah, so that's really where it all started for us with that book. Our client handed us the book as a gift at the start of our engagement with them, and, we actually decided to give them an unexpected add on to their what we had done our contract around. And, we built their all hands meeting training because we could see that they needed it and they so it was a it was a pleasant surprise to them and they loved it.
Brad:Yeah the response was incredible it was reassuring to us but afterwards the CEO came up to us and he asked a question that kind of stuck. Yeah. How do you scale what you two do? He was he said that the work, the way that we work together is invaluable. And I think it, you know, we've tried to do that.
Brad:We've tried to create something like that. But reading the book, experiencing unreasonable hospitality, and then to your point, taking it a step further and being intentional about creating something for them that was important to their team, it made them feel like we belonged part of their team. And that feeling or what came of that afterwards was what he as he said it was invaluable.
Monnica:And that was really the encouragement we needed because you know it's a question we'd been asking for a while, how do we grow the work that we do without further stressing our schedules? And how do we share, you know, what we do, the work that we do without losing what makes it feel real? So
Brad:Yeah. That moment lit a spark in us and reminded us, you know, that what we do together in both business and life for now coming up on twenty nine years is is the work is the work itself. And that maybe we don't scale by building something bigger, but maybe we scale by actually letting people in to this.
Monnica:It's what we do on Sunday mornings anyway. So that's really how the podcast was born. From one client's act of generosity and a reminder that the most human work we can do is to just share what's real. So here we are.
Brad:So maybe ask yourself this week, what would unreasonable hospitality look like in your world this week? Maybe it's at work, maybe it's at home, whatever it might be. What's one small act that you could make someone feel seen, make them feel like they belong. No permission, no policy, just caring for them.
Monnica:Yeah. And if something we said sparked an idea or a question or a story, share it with us because that will help shape where we go next.
Brad:So I think maybe the real takeaway is that we didn't just read the book, but we actually lived it.
Monnica:And I think continue to try to find new ways to do so.
Brad:Yeah.
Monnica:Yeah, and now we get to pass it on.
Brad:Yeah, so pour a little extra intention into whatever you do this week.
Monnica:Yeah. Because it's those small moments of care that really become the stories that people never forget and they share.
Brad:Until next time. Stay curious and may your coffee be strong.
Monnica:And your conversations stronger. Good job, Bradley.
Brad:You too. Thanks. That's a good one.
Monnica:Yeah. That was a good one.
Brad:I like that. Yeah. That's a good book.
Monnica:I liked it too.
Brad:Anything else you'd add?
Monnica:I feel like I should read it again. It's been about a year. Maybe yeah. Almost almost a year since we read it.